Phones
by Black Archangel
Summary: Mars loses her snack time. Oneshot.


**A/N:** Alright, I apologize for not writing anything for so long, I guess it's a combination between a lack of inspiration and me being just lazy. I've also been playing Gaia, I've been getting distracted with that as well. School has also started- which SUCKS, by the way- and I've been busy with homework and tests and stuff. Seriously, at my school we get, like, twenty tests a week. Anyway, let's move on.

**DISCLAIMER:** 42! The answer is... wait, we're not taking a test? Meh. I do not claim ownership over any of the characters in this story, yadda yadda yadda. Dang, that's annoying. I hate this stupid disclaimer.

* * *

**Phones**

**Black Archangel**

* * *

"This can't be happening."

Mars let out an unholy screech, causing several windows in the facility to shatter. The glass shards fell from their frames, crashing onto the heads of lower Grunts. The Grunts let out girly screams as the glass pierced their skin, shredding apart their skin, causing blood to leak- what? No takers for blood and gore? Moving on then.

"My... my snack time..." sniffled Mars. "How could they... be so heartless?"

"Hey!" snapped Cyrus, smashing a brick onto Mars' head. "I'll have you know I do INDEED have a heart! ...Even if it IS small and black and cold."

"How does it pump blood, then?" she asked.

Cyrus looked thoughtful for a few moments, then passed out from lack of blood.

Silence for a few moments. "Cyrus, uh, do I get my snack time back? Because if I don't get my cookie for the day, I seriously think that I will die. Like, die and never come back. For, like, ever. Not even as a Tangela."

Cyrus said nothing.

"BAH, you're no good!" snapped Mars, tossing Cyrus in a trash compactor. The mechanism whirred loudly, then made a very violent sounding grinding noise. Moments later the compactor churned out a super duper ultra dark wonder ball. It exploded in a sphere of dark emo flames, burning down the trash compactor.

Anyway. Back to Mars. She wandered down the halls, thinking about what to do. Eventually, she bumped into Jupiter, causing them both to fall. Mars glared, annoyed, but when she realized it was her best friend, Jupiter, she still glared. After a while, Jupiter looked down at her shirt and spotted a small black burn mark on it.

"Mars, you're burning my shirt."

"Exactly."

"May I ask why?"

"If you must know, it is because I am about to die from lack of cookies, so I am accomplishing what I've always wanted to do now before I die. Seeing how big your chest REALLY was is one of them, so, I'm burning your shirt so I can see."

Jupiter blushed, covering her chest. "What do you mean, 'really'?"

"I mean I can see little bits of tissue paper sticking out of your shirt," responded Mars.

"Mars, I don't want you to see."

"Then save me, darnit, SAVE ME!"

Jupiter tapped her chin. "Besides cookies, what else will save you?"

"Pizza will do," muttered Mars, loosening her glare.

"Pizza, pizza, where do we get pizza..." mused Jupiter.

"Pizza Hut," suggested Mars.

"That's ridiculous, it sounds like some kind of shop where people sell drugs."

"Drugs..."

"There are all kind of drugs out there these days. This morning on the radio I heard this was one kind of drug called Super Grass."

"Then these professors are really drug dealers. They give out Pokemon to people, so since they give out grass Pokemon, they are giving them Super Grass, since it's grass, but it's also super."

"Right, right!"

"Now go order pizza!"

"From who?"

"Pizza Hut, nimrod."

"They sell drugs, not pizza."

"Maybe pizza is a drug. UGH! If you can't do it, I'll do it."

"Uh, okay, Mars."

Mars took Jupiter's cell phone. She paused. "What's Pizza Hut's phone number?"

"Who cares? Just press random buttons until something happens."

Mars nodded. "Makes sense," she said. She pressed three buttons, then the call button.

There was a voice at the other end. Male. "Hello, you have reached-"

"Yeah, hi, gimme two large pizzas with pepperoni, sausage, heck, just whatever you have," said Mars. "Oh, and a soda."

"Will that be here or to go?"

Mars covered the phone. "Jupiter, here or to go?"

Jupiter paced. "Here or to go... does that matter? You're talking over a phone."

"Then that guy tricked me," growled Mars. "Hey, you stupid voice, you tricked me!"

"My name is Riley, not 'you stupid voice'."

"No wonder..." sighed Mars. "Why are you working at a pizza joint?"

"Pizza joint?" asked Riley. "I thought this was 911."

"Are the coppers coming?"

"Heck yeah."

"OH SHI-" Mars shouted, hanging up in the middle of her swearing.

Mars dropped the phone, then stamped it underfoot. "This phone never existed," Mars instructed, leaving to toss it in what remained of the trash compactor. "Never existed."

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N:** Originally I was going to write about those little tables you get when you order pizzas, which are AWESOME, by the way, but I got sidetracked, and besides, writing that part out would take too long. I might write something on it later. Also, after Cyrus got KOed, I was thinking of doing a "nyoron" scene but decided against it since I didn't think too many people would get the joke. Please review! 


End file.
